Old Agers are Senior Citizens, too.

Have you ever looked at others your own age and thought, “Certainly I can’t look that old?” If so, you may enjoy this tale from a Senior dental patient -  as I recently received via email.

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist and I noticed his Dental School Diploma, which showed his full name. I then remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy in my high school class nearly 40 years ago. He had the same name and I had a secret crush on him for two years - way back then.

Meeting him, however,  I  discarded  these  thoughts of old. This balding, gray man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my secret heartthrob.

Following my dental exam I asked him if he had attended Quakertown High School. He replied in the affirmative…

“Yes, I did. I am a Panther.” he proudly stated.

I asked him his year of graduation.

He  responded, “I graduated in 1960. Why do you ask?”

I exclaimed, “You were in my class!”

He looked at me very closely, as though examining me again.

Then that old, ugly, decrepit, fat, bald, rude jerk asked, “What class did you teach?”

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1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can’t remember where you read this list.
20. Copy this and send it to anyone you can remember.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went down town and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes and
when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, “Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a “Nazi.” He glared at me and wrote another ticket for
having worn tires. So I called him a “doughnut eating Gestapo.” He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The
more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said something insulting to Senior Citizens.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.