Old Agers are Senior Citizens, too.

Older Than I Appear?

Old Ager — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 14:41:56 +0000

Have you ever looked at others your own age and thought, “Certainly I can’t look that old?” If so, you may enjoy this tale from a Senior dental patient - as I recently received via email.

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist and I noticed his Dental School Diploma, which showed his full name. I then remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy in my high school class nearly 40 years ago. He had the same name and I had a secret crush on him for two years - way back then.

Meeting him, however, I discarded these thoughts of old. This balding, gray man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my secret heartthrob.

Following my dental exam I asked him if he had attended Quakertown High School. He replied in the affirmative…

“Yes, I did. I am a Panther.” he proudly stated.

I asked him his year of graduation.

He responded, “I graduated in 1960. Why do you ask?”

I exclaimed, “You were in my class!”

He looked at me very closely, as though examining me again.

Then that old, ugly, decrepit, fat, bald, rude jerk asked, “What class did you teach?”

Some Perks of Growing Older

Old Ager — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 12:11:07 +0000

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run–anywhere.
People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you?
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
You can eat supper at 4 pm.
You can live without sex but not your glasses.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes won’t get much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
You can’t remember where you read this list.
Copy this and send it to anyone you can remember.

What do retired people do all day?

Old Ager — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 11:23:28 +0000

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went down town and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes and
when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, “Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a “Nazi.” He glared at me and wrote another ticket for
having worn tires. So I called him a “doughnut eating Gestapo.” He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The
more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said something insulting to Senior Citizens.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.

I Decided Old Age is a Gift

Old Ager — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:42:24 +0000

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I a m now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. (more…)

Defining Old Age - Maybe

Old Ager — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 15:23:35 +0000

Old age consists of ages nearing the average lifespan of human beings, and thus the end of the human life cycle. Euphemisms for older people include advanced adult, elderly, and senior or senior citizen. Older people have limited regenerative abilities and are more prone to disease, syndromes, and sickness than other adults. So, they tend to take better care of themselves than they did in their earlier years.

In Western societies, adults are assumed to be “old” when they reach the ages of 65-75, and secure their pension entitlement. Some governments offer Old Age pensions, and redeemable Retirement Savings Plans.

Canadian Medications for Old Agers

Old Ager — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 15:19:35 +0000

From a recent email (actually we got this from several people, so thought we should share) - If anyone knows that this is copyrighted somewhere, please let us know and we will remove it.

Think About This One!

A car company can move its factories to Mexico and claim it’s a free market.
A toy company can out source to a Chinese subcontractor and claim it’s a free market .
A shoe company can produce its shoes in south east Asia and claim it’s a free market.
A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim it’s a free market.
We can buy HP Printers made in Mexico.
We can buy shirts made in Bangladesh.
We can purchase almost anything we want from many, many different countries.

BUT, heaven help the Old Agers/Senior Citizens who dare to buy their prescription drugs from a Canadian or Mexican pharmacy. That’s called un-American! And you think the pharmaceutical companies don’t have a powerful lobby? Think again!

Copy and send this to every person you know over age 50. It is an interesting thought. Maybe this is an issue that should come up in the next election! On second thought, forget the age 50 group - send it to everyone! We ‘re all in this boat together! Even if you aren’t in the boat now, you’re standing on the pier.

Black and White TV and more

Old Ager — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:56:49 +0000

Black and White TV…and More…
(Under age 40? You won’t understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow, spread those rabbit ears as far as they go. Pull a chair up to the TV set, “Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.”

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, b ut I c an’t remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then. (more…)

Understanding the Younger Generation

Old Ager — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:29:15 +0000

Sometimes we manage to get the point across about Senior Citizens and our society. Here is one of those “stunning” Senior moments…

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. “You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,” the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. (more…)

Consumption of Alcohol by Senior Citizens

Old Ager — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:16:13 +0000

Old agers (everyone actually, but especially Seniors) should only drink alcohol in moderation. Here’s why…

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. (more…)

How to Call the Police

Old Ager — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:04:47 +0000

How to call the Police when you’re an Old Ager (and don’t move fast any more)…

George P. of a city in Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and he said “No.” Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. (more…)