Some Perks of Growing Older

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  1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
  3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
  4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you?
  5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
  7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
  8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
  9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
  10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
  11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
  13. You sing along with elevator music.
  14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
  15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
  17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
  18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
  19. You can’t remember where you read this list.
  20. Copy this and send it to anyone you can remember.

What do retired people do all day?

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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went down town and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes and
when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, “Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a “Nazi.” He glared at me and wrote another ticket for
having worn tires. So I called him a “doughnut eating Gestapo.” He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The
more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said something insulting to Senior Citizens.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.

I Decided Old Age is a Gift

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The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I a m now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. Read the rest…

Defining Old Age – Maybe

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Old age consists of ages nearing the average lifespan of human beings, and thus the end of the human life cycle. Euphemisms for older people include advanced adult, elderly, and senior or senior citizen. Older people have limited regenerative abilities and are more prone to disease, syndromes, and sickness than other adults. So, they tend to take better care of themselves than they did in their earlier years.

In Western societies, adults are assumed to be “old” when they reach the ages of 65-75, and secure their pension entitlement. Some governments offer Old Age pensions, and redeemable Retirement Savings Plans.

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